No, sorry, I don’t have a light. I don’t smoke. You scowl and turn away, outraged. But have you considered buying your own “lights”, rather than scowling at those inconsiderate non-smokers who do not carry around such paraphernalia for you?
Nor do I carry clean needles, rolled up banknotes, hookahs or portable chemistry sets from Switzerland. That’s very remiss of me, and I should be here to satisfy the cravings and addictions of anyone who accosts me in the street needing a fix.
Speaking of which, do you have a spoon for my coffee? Stir it for me, would you?
No sugar, thanks.
We are also on Twitter.
