OmniWeb

The Mac OS X Web browser OmniWeb is now available for free along with three other applications from the Omni Group following a decision based on the obvious point that “we don’t have unlimited engineering resources”. OmniWeb’s combination of features and efficiency were not enough to win it enough friends in an age in which browsers that are not free are dismissed out of hand (to the extent that even the CEO of the Omni Group declared “every other browser is free”, overlooking the long-running iCab).

OmniWeb provides features only otherwise available by loading up Firefox with extensions that are generally far less elegant and reliable, but the rate of development of OmniWeb had slowed down to the extent that some bugs and other aspects needing attention (such as an “ad-blocking” system that expected the user to enter regular expressions!) had been on the “to do” list for over a year. It therefore comes as more of a disappointment than a shock that development has probably ceased – despite the fact that (in response to a bug report sent a fortnight ago), Omni Group developers had alluded to a forthcoming V. 6, which now of course seems unlikely to appear.

If you are tempted to try OmniWeb despite its uncertain future, you may well like what you find. Try to politely ignore the question “You’re a Mac fan, right?” and see the feature list. Otherwise, try
Camino, Firefox, Flock, iCab, Opera, Safari… The list of rival browsers for the Mac is, it must be admitted, quite long.

Ant

I saw an ant in the bathroom today. It was very small. I hadn’t given a thought to ants all winter, and I doubt that any had thought of me. But I was pleased to see one again, and perhaps it was pleased to see a human, although I doubt that too.

I should add that the ant was not taking a bath or availing itself of any of the other facilities. Many ants are nearly toothless and even those that do have well-equipped masticatory margins are small so I have no worry that my toothbrush might be borrowed by ants, unless perhaps they are crazy.

Ants keep their teeth in a hat, which they assemble from paper.

People who bought ant hats also bought buzzy fly unisized hats.

Today’s Rapper Spam

“if you do not specialise in hip hop/rap can you please forward this to someone who does”.

Oh we are here to serve. Just sit there and take it easy.

A “rapper” walks into an ironmonger’s:

“A cabbage and two oranges right away please. Or if you don’t sell fruit & veg., maybe you can find someone who does and have them arrange home delivery for me”.

And the ironmonger says… Well, it doesn’t really matter what he says, does it?

The plug-in

Ah yes, the plug-in.

It’s a good job I only have the one, otherwise I might find it hard to guess which “the plug-in” was being referred to, besides having to click “OK” every time one failed to load.

Nannying applications through every single modal dialogue with no option but “OK” is great fun.

Snow Leopard enhancements revealed

(Not really… Go and read something else instead of this nonsense).

The Mac world waits with excitement for OS X 10.6 “Snow Leopard”. Here are just some of the exciting features rumoured not to be included.

While the user waits for an application to deign to respond to keyboard or mouse control, the “spinning beachball” will no longer be displayed. Instead, iTunes will be launched: it will connect to imuzak.apple.com and play tunes based on the user’s current library, over which a soothing voice will assure you that user input is very important to your application and you should please hold.

The user will no longer be referred to as “the user”, but as “the subject”.

The OS’s firewall will continue to repeatedly ask the subject whether a given application should accept incoming network connections, but a new response button will be added to the dialogue once the subject has consistently answered the question the same way over 100 times: the subject will be able to click on “What do you think”. As with the other options, the firewall will forget this response immediately, as a safeguard.

The OS will no longer shit bricks whenever the subject attempts to open a zip file that has been downloaded from the Internet. It will instead shit small housing estates, warning the subject that not only has the file been downloaded from the evil parallel universe called the internet – a seething mass of corruption and viruses – but that one day there might actually be a virus for OS X, and that when that day comes you will regret your cavalier actions. The lecture will continue for 14 pages (the subject will click through the interface by clicking “I am but a fool”) and at the end, the subject will be required to agree to a disclaimer absolving Apple of any consequence arising from the opening of the zip file.

AVI and other media files will be handled more intelligently by QuickTime: if the subject browses to a site that contains video material not understood by QuickTime, he will be redirected to the movie trailer section of Apple’s site instead.

If the Finder insists that a drive is in use and therefore refuses to eject it, the subject will be allowed to insist that the drive is not in fact in use, upon which application will be made to Apple for approval to remove the device. Confirmation by fax may be required.

If an application has an alert for the user, its icon will no longer bounce up and down in the Dock like a 3-year-old ODing on Sunny Delight. Instead, the display will turn black and the text “INCOMING ALERT – URGENT!” will flash on the screen. Access to all other applications will be blocked till the demands have been fully satisfied.

Conclusion

Clearly Apple has another winner on its hands, which will face up well to all 57 varieties of Windows 7 “Titanic” and even the rumoured “Slightly Useful” distribution of Linux.

Snow news day

If you are unfortunate enough to live in Birmingham and need to travel locally by train, you will, on most journeys, be forcibly subjected to television programmes. Sitting in the “Quiet Zone” of each carriage offers no escape since these zones are open to the blaring of the televisions. The signal cannot be shut off. You can close your eyes but you must hear.

Currently the choice (by the train company) of aggravating infotainment is Sky News. Sky News is the sort of station that is unable to think beyond having jingles that have fake Morse code as a theme. That idea was old by the sixties and was done much better back then. Furthermore, Sky News is the sort of station that literally has ONE news story, and today that story is “IT IS SNOWING”.

Here’s what a loop of “news” about the sky sounds like.

DIT DEE DIT DEEE
It’s snowing.
The weather forecast shows snow.
Here’s a map of the UK, showing where snow will fall.
It’s snowing.
And now a special report from someone by a roadside.
Drivers have been warned not to drive unless they have to. But some people need to travel by car to get to where they want to go (NB: this is very nearly a verbatim quote).
It’s snowing. Back to the studio.
DIT DEE DIT DEEE
It’s snowing.
Here’s a map of the UK showing snow. The forecast is for snow.
This is the worst snow for 5 years. (They don’t remark on the freakishly mild winters).
It’s snowing. Here’s a special report from London.
Here in London it has been snowing. Drivers are having to drive slowly.
Concern is mounting for Britain’s already ailing economy as shops close early (again, this is pretty much a verbatim quote).
It is snowing. But it is not all bad. This small boy is enjoying playing in the snow.
Back to the studio.
DIT DEE DIT DEEE
It’s snowing. Here’s a map showing snowfall in the UK. Snow is expected.
And now a comment from An Expert with an excited “I’m on TV” smile. She explains that this has been the heaviest snow fall in “many years” (see elsewhere the report of “5″ for “many”).
Back to the studio.
AND REPEAT.
DIT DIT DEE
AND REPEAT.
DIT DIT DEE
AND REPEAT.
DIT DIT DEE
AND REPEAT.
DIT DIT DEE
There is no escape.
AND REPEAT.
DIT DIT DEE
AND REPEAT.
DIT DIT DEE
AND REPEAT.
DIT DIT DEE
AND REPEAT.
DIT DIT DEE
AND REPEAT.
DIT DIT DEE…

Yes it’s snowing. But you might prefer walking to catching a train.